I have called over 12 cities home. In each of these cities, I developed a special connection with the place and the people. These were cities that welcomed me (some warmer than others), where I lived for months or years, wrote part of my story, built everlasting memories, and most importantly, formed long-lasting friendships.
As expats, revisiting a city where we once lived feels completely different than visiting as a tourist. Walking and driving down the streets, you relive special memories of your life. Seeing an ordinary bakery, that a tourist would probably pass by, you think, “I remember when I had coffee here with friends, while we talked about life and where we saw ourselves in the future.” The future you are living now is completely different from what you had imagined that day. You feel happy when you see the places you used to go to and sad to find out some places have closed.
Miami holds a special place in my heart. When I first moved there at 15, I hated it. I had moved from Singapore, where we were valued for who we were. Joining a private school, I felt completely out of place when all the “kids” brought their Mercedes and BMW brochures to show off what extras they would be getting with their first car. This was the biggest cultural shock I faced, even bigger than my first move out of Brazil when we landed in Asia.
My first year there was extremely difficult, and I ended up changing schools (going to my 11th school), but eventually, I adapted. I adapted so well that after graduating from college in Boston, I moved back.
But what changed? How did I adapt? How did I grow to like this city so much? I met people. People I connected with, who had similar backgrounds and common interests. My social life changed, and as a result, I connected with the city as I built everlasting memories there. This is why the social pillar is so important while living abroad, because you not only feel like you belong, but you connect with the city.
After almost 5 years from my last visit and almost 17 years since I moved from Miami, I went back to visit my brother, meet my newborn nephew, and catch up with my friends who live there. The city has definitely changed, and so have I, but I have a special connection with this place, like I have with the other cities where I have lived. Once we expats call a city home, that place will never be the same again. They become part of who we are, and our connections feel like roots that will always be there.
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